Summer Break Brings Anxiety for Parents

As thousands of young children and teenagers rejoice and celebrate the sweetness of summer vacation, I join the mass of parents who are all, at this very minute, thinking, “Is military summer school out of the question?”

Yes, it’s that time of year, when the cherubic angels you have so lovingly taught good manners and impeccable social skills to, suddenly turn into selfish, self-centered gremlins that cannot get along with others to save their lives.

The very same children who bring home glowing report cards and inspire praise from teachers everywhere mysteriously transform into some sort of mutant children/vampires, who refuse to go to bed at a decent hour, and who have somehow decided that you, as a parent, hold no status or influence whatsoever.

But I have to let you in on a little secret. This is why day camps were invented. Their purpose is not to educate and provide supplemental knowledge and additional heart-warming experiences for your children. They are simply disguised, structured forms of confinement, designed specifically to relieve parents everywhere from thoughts of child endangerment.

Oh, there are those random moments in time during the summer that make you stop, smile and remember the joys of parenting. Like the moment your darling angel becomes bewildered by a butterfly, or your family experiences a picture perfect moment at an amusement park or a vacation site.

But in between those greeting-card-worthy moments in time, parents must deal with drama, drama, drama. No matter what your child’s age, these little creatures seem to know only one form of amusement: driving parents crazy.

I’ve always been amazed when I hear other parents say things like, “Oh I can’t wait for summer. I love having my children home all day!” Am I the only one who is petrified to find out what the upcoming weeks have in store? Am I the only one who has nightmares of adopted reptiles slithering in my son’s room, or dreads the hours I will spend deciphering my daughter’s wails of agony over missed play dates and lost party invitations?

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I missed the boat when they were giving out special parenting skills, or perhaps my level of patience just isn’t where it was when my kids were infants. Perhaps we all get so spoiled with the relief of a school day, that we forget we actually have the skills to keep our children engaged and productive all summer long.

After all, these are the same children who can bring me to tears at the drop of a hat, and who make me smile with their innocent observations about the world. These are the same children who make me sweet Mother’s Day presents, who giggle and squeal at the slightest touch.

I just can’t quite figure out what to do with them this summer. Military academy, anyone?