Ron Tuthill: The Grim Side of Mother Goose

WARNING:
THIS COLUMN CONTAINS GRAPHIC CONTENT THAT MAY BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN.

Carving pieces of animals up with a butcher’s knife…
Beating children before putting them to bed…
Throwing helpless old men down staircases…

Yes, there’s nothing like reading a quaint nursery rhyme to put our children to sleep. In case you haven’t noticed, the content in nursery rhymes reads like a script from the TV show “COPS.”

From the day we brought them home from the hospital, we’ve always read to our kids. And early on, we discovered that Mother Goose was one, sick old bird. As we picked up a very cutely illustrated version of her nursery rhymes and started reading, we were amazed and somewhat dumbstruck by the actual lyrics of the nursery rhymes. Domestic violence, animal cruelty and child abuse are abundant in these “quaint” rhymes for children.

Let’s start out with the classic that we’ve all sung to our children – Rock-a-bye Baby.
Here’s a charming little tune that is all about a nut-case that decided to put a baby in a wooden cradle at the top of a tree in a windy storm, knowing full-well that when the wind breaks the tree branch, baby falls to its death surrounded by a smashed cradle.
Pleasant dreams.

Rock-A-Bye Baby
Rock-a-bye, baby,
On the tree top.
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall.
And down will come baby,
Cradle and all.
Here’s a more pleasant suggested modification:

Rock-a-bye, baby,
In the tree top.
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock.
When the sun shines
The cradle will sway.
We’ll laugh and we’ll sing
And have fun all day.

Let’s move onto another classic rhyme — The Old Woman in a Shoe.
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn’t know what to do.
She gave them some broth without any bread.
She whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

Nothing like putting an image of abused, starving children, screaming with tears running down their cheeks in our children’s heads before drifting off to sleep. Of course, you could argue that growing up with stories like this are motivators for future welfare and family planning professionals.

Why not change it slightly to read:
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, and she loved them clear through.
She gave them some broth and she gave them some bread.
Then kissed them and hugged them and put them to bed.

The graphic nature of getting something chopped off is also not a pleasing image we’d like to convey to our children. Maybe, I’m old-fashioned. But I don’t like giving toddlers ideas about what they might try with a carving knife on “Spot” or “Fluffy.”

Three Blind Mice
Three blind mice, see how they run!
They all ran after the farmer’s wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife.
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
as three blind mice.

Suggested modification:
Three blind mice, see how they run!
They all ran into the furniture,
They bounced around like a ball, for sure.
Do you think that someone will find a cure,
for three blind mice.

The list of rhymes needing rework is too long for this column, but when you have time, pick up a book of nursery rhymes and see that violence and questionable imagery abound:

• Little Polly Flinders is smacked for spoiling her nice new clothes.
• Jerry Hall is small enough to be eaten by a rat.
• Goosey Gander has an old man being thrown down the stairs.

It seems violence and cruel imagery must have sold rhymes throughout history. With that said, I’m surprised there wasn’t a cute little rhyme or song about the world wars, the potato famine or the Bubonic plague.

Oh wait, there is –

Ring around the Rosy (The disease was evident by a rosy rash in the shape of a ring on the skin).

Pockets full of posies (It was believed that the disease was transmitted by bad smells. Posies are sweet smelling herbs).

Ashes, Ashes, we all fall down. (Refers to the cremation of dead bodies).

There is a grim side to Mother Goose. Be sure you’re paying attention to what you read or sing to your kids. Visions of sugar plums may not be the only things dancing in their heads as they nod off to sleep … if they can.