I’m Listening to You!

It’s easy to be a thief. It’s not to say that how I steal is hard, as YOU make it so easy for people like me. How does it work? Well, picture this scene.

I’m sitting in a comfy leather chair with my laptop in a Borders Cafe. It could be a Panera Bread or a Starbucks, but today, it’s a bookstore. I pretend to be concentrating on my glare-free computer screen (you know, like I’m just another writer working on my first novel). In waltzes a lady named Barbara X. She pulls out a chair at a table nearby and opens up her briefcase, pulling out what appears to be reports and her Blackberry. She quickly dials a number. In a matter of minutes, I will know that she likes to shop by phone. She loves shoes (she’s a size 9 narrow) and today, she orders two pairs. One in gray and the other in black. She uses her Visa – gives out her full name, card number, expiration date, 3-digit security numbers, her address, zip code and phone number. The sale is wrapped up in under five minutes. Sweet! She spoke clearly and loudly enough for anyone sitting within six feet of her to hear. Needless to say, my eager fingers never missed a beat in copying down all her personal information.

But Barbara X is not done. She makes another call, this time to a mortgage company. She’s refinancing her condo and wants to get as much of the paperwork started as she can before their first appointment, thus the call. She casts an eye my way, smiles, turns her head slightly away, but wades right in with the rest of her personal history including her social security number. MOTHER LOAD! It’s so easy. I tune out when she calls a friend and begins to trash her mother-in-law.

But just then, John walks in. He picks the chair right next to me. Cell phone ear bud is clearly present. In less than 30 seconds he is working it. The conversation is different, but the info is loud and clear as he buys an airline ticket. Usually, he goes online to do this, but he left his laptop at the office and wanted to get this done before his next appointment. I’m thrilled at his absentmindedness. His next call is to his wife. He needs her to transfer some funds (seems his bookkeeping is a little off in his checkbook). He rattles off the bank and the account number complete with the pin. Could it get any better?

By now, my space is filling up with talkers who think nothing of carrying on loud conversations while using their trusty cell phones. For a while, I just tune in on all the private, intimate conversations going on around me: nothing fazes these people. Do they think everyone is deaf?

The subject matter of conversation going on all around is screaming at me: Sally works in advertising. Things aren’t going so well for her as clients are dropping off like flies as they can’t stand her boss. She’s talking to another agency who would like her to consider working for them.

Mary is talking to her lazy son. He’s engaged to a girl named Sodad. Mary can’t stand the girl and it’s out the door if he even thinks about marrying her.

Carson is planning an event and he’s lining up sponsors. According to him, anyone who’s anyone will be there so if you want a bargain, just fork over $1,000 dollars for a corporate table and drag eight of your best friends to this “can’t miss event.” He promises every table is center front!

And so it goes. All in all, it’s been a good day for me. I have more than enough new identities logged in, and enough inside information to set up a scheme or two of my own. As I said before, it’s easy to be a thief. All you have to do is be a good listener.

P.S. Barbara was in such a rush to make her next appointment, she left behind her big, expensive black Kate Spade purse. Needless to say… I love it!