Articles By: dickwolfsie

Losing Propositions

Losing Propositions

0 March 2, 2012 7:16 am

Mary Ellen has signed up for another year of Prevention magazine. This pocket-sized monthly tells you how to prevent most everything except how to stop your wife from wasting another $24.95.  Quite frankly, I think the whole publication is a [...]

A Brief Apology

A Brief Apology

0 January 19, 2012 12:28 pm

I recently spent an hour in another man’s underwear. Telling the story of how I took a complete stranger’s briefs may help me locate the original owner and wash away the guilt I am feeling. Let me put my readers [...]

Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad

0 October 31, 2011 4:38 am

My family has been attending a new place of worship on Sunday mornings, and we think we have found the perfect spot. The Unitarian minister is engaging. The congregation is warm and welcoming. Even the coffee is good after the [...]

Bra Vo

Bra Vo

0 September 7, 2011 12:09 pm

Some of the spam I receive on a regular basis is for products that I can’t mention in this column. But recently, I’ve had a few emails about unmentionables, and I’d like to mention those: Bra Wonder, Super Bra and [...]

Talking Heads

Talking Heads

0 August 8, 2011 9:17 am

Mary Ellen and I were relaxing on our back deck and after swatting a few mosquitos, I said, “You know, sweetheart, we should look into screening in this area.” “Yes, Dick, you’ve been saying that every year for the past [...]

Failure to Lunch

Failure to Lunch

1 June 5, 2011 9:56 am

During 30 years of marriage my wife has made dinner for me 6,700 times. This is just an estimate. I’m not some weirdo who keeps careful track of things like this, although it is interesting that I’ve cleared the table [...]

The Mouse That Roared

The Mouse That Roared

0 April 27, 2011 3:07 am

There is a mouse living in the Wolfsie kitchen. At least one. The dog knows it; the cat knows it. And my wife knows it. We’re just trying to hide it from the neighbors. We’ve had critter problems before, but [...]

Fond Memories

Fond Memories

0 March 31, 2011 12:18 pm

I hired a tutor to teach me about the intricacies of Facebook, blogging, and tweeting. The original plan was to take a class on all this, but I get very distracted in large groups and can’t concentrate. This is what [...]

Life at the Cellular Level

Life at the Cellular Level

0 January 26, 2011 4:53 am

My father used to hold his hand up next to his face and flap his thumb and four fingers together to mimic my mom’s incessant yakking on the phone. My wife is very different from my mother. Mary Ellen does [...]

The 7 Percent Solution

The 7 Percent Solution

2 December 2, 2010 6:45 am

I believe in change as much as the next person. I believe in change so much that I have an old pickle jar in my home office filled with quarters, nickels, dimes and pennies. Also some golf tees, safety pins [...]

Lost in Space

Lost in Space

0 September 29, 2010 6:53 pm

The party’s over. Our 30 guests have gone home, but I’m a little concerned. I can’t find the cat’s scratching post, the cordless phone that was on the living room table or my brand new bicycle helmet. Oh, and where’s [...]

Old Bones About It

Old Bones About It

0 June 25, 2010 4:13 am

In my role as a TV reporter, I often receive inquiries from people requesting that I do a ;;;segment about their product or service. I am always on the lookout for stories that will engage the viewer and create, what [...]

Closed 24 Hours

Closed 24 Hours

0 May 24, 2010 4:01 pm

Two of my favorite TV series, 24 and Law & Order, will end this season, forever. While I have been a faithful viewer of both, I have mixed feelings about their demise. The truth is, I found 24 very depressing. [...]

Soft Sell Guy

Soft Sell Guy

0 February 26, 2010 2:15 pm

I’m a sucker for anything that might make me a better husband, so when an email appeared in my inbox with the subject: WHAT WOMEN WANT, you can be sure I clicked on it. I knew there was a chance [...]

Keep Your Chin Up

Keep Your Chin Up

1 February 13, 2010 3:02 pm

Surveys show that most people hate at least one part of their body. I’m not happy with my ears, for example. I think they stick out more than they should. My wife says I’m crazy and to be that obsessed [...]

My Life Saving

2 December 15, 2009 7:13 am

Would you like to save $14,450? You can, claims the Entertainment book, chock-full of good deals, brimming with coupons, awash in discounts. For a cheap person like me, it’s my savior. My wife advised me not to pay $25.00 for [...]

No Bones About It

No Bones About It

1 October 18, 2009 11:53 pm

I’ve never had a good relationship with my left knee. Our problems together started back in college with a traumatic football injury. I was watching the homecoming game and my entire leg became wedged in the bleachers when I was [...]

Perfect Record

Perfect Record

0 September 19, 2009 8:39 am

My wife is the most honest person I have ever met. My own honesty is a bit questionable, which kind of makes you wonder just how true that statement about my wife is. I don’t want to get sidetracked, but [...]

Asleep in Europe

Asleep in Europe

0 August 20, 2009 12:53 pm

Sleeping has always been a problem for me. Not napping. I’m a wizard at napping, as I have reported before in this column. But sleeping. Like in my own bed. Like for six to eight hours. I’m just not very [...]

Pack Lady

Pack Lady

0 July 18, 2009 9:18 am

My wife Mary Ellen has a walk-in closet, but this evening she walked in at 7 p.m. and didn’t come out until midnight. Another few minutes and it would have become a sleep-in closet. You see, the Wolfsies are planning [...]